Mark Rober, a former NASA engineer, ran an experiment on 50,000 people. He gave them all the same coding puzzle but he split up the people into two groups. When Group One failed they saw the message, "That didn't work. Please try again." Group Two saw, "That didn't work. You lost 5 points. You now have 195 points. Please try again." The no-penalty group had a 68% success rate and the group averaged 2.5 more attempts before completing the puzzle than the other group. The group

There is a frequently-missed moment in every conflict that decides who is actually the leader and it has nothing to do with who's right or in charge. I teach it as a leader skill, but it's just as important and relevant in peer conflict. Once you know it, you'll always see it. As a leader, suppose someone in your organization becomes angry. It could be in your office, the monthly meeting, wherever, and you have to deal with it. You have two options: match that anger, or do